April 26, 2018

Are your friendships a dead end or would you like a new type of friend?

In this process of Dialogue E-Journaling, I envision a special new type of Friendship being created. Remember the purpose of Dialogue E-Journaling is to connect for fun, friendship and fulfillment.

Corner of Friendship Dr. and E. Winnemissett A...

Corner of Friendship Dr. and E. Winnemissett Av in Deland, Florida. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, lets look at what this new type of friend might look like. Most of our friendships (at least mine) are quite shallow, not deep or even on-going at all. LIke the graphic in this post, many appear to be a dead end or at least not worth putting in the effort to continue and improve. As I watch people interact on facebook, there appears to be some connection with people who comment on the various facebook entries, but I don’t see any kind of real meaningful dialogue developing. It seems, for the most part, just disconnected attempts to connect, when something “noteworthy” happens to be “on your mind.” For some facebookers, it doesn’t even have to noteworthy, but that’s another story.

Some time ago, I ran across this little workbook by Amanda Rankin entitled “The little workbook that could change your life-Buddy Coaching for Christians, a Revolutionary Plan to Set Goals and Achieve Them.” As a trained life coach, I was intrigued about this concept of “buddy coaching”. Would it be practical for essentially “untrained” people to coach each other, in a fun and effective way? I have concluded that it is indeed possible and practical to utilize this unique approach to friendship. So, as I continue this blog, I will list and define principles of how “life coaches” interact with their clients, principles that any one of you can utilize as you assist your friends in their life walk. And you don’t even have to pay the coaching fee.

Amanda defines a “buddy coach” as “a friend that you can team up with–an accountability parther. It’s someone who can be your coach, and you perhaps, can be their’s.” Amanda suggests buddy coaching be done over the phone or in person on a weekly basis. The concept in Dialogue E-journaling is to connect “electronically”, via email, etc. on a daily or several times a week basis. So, a more intense interaction of what’s happening in your life.

More on this concept in the next post. Happy Journaling.


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What is dialogue journaling?


I have been searching for months for what to call the unique journaling process I want to develop on this blog/book. After several different choices, I settled on


English: A woman typing on a laptop Français :...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)


the term dialogue e-journaling. A  google search of the phrase  dialogue journaling yielded this definition from wikipedia. “A dialogue journal is a log or notebook used by more than one person for exchanging experiences, ideas, or reflections — used most often in education as a means of sustained writing interaction between students and teachers at all educational levels and in second language and other types of instruction.”


Dialogue journals are also used in writing at schools to improve communication between teachers and students, so as to improve the life that they share in the classroom by the exchanging of common ideas etc.


My concept of dialogue journaling is to change the format  from “paper or notebook” to an electronic format; that is over the internet, through email, blogs, or journaling apps. It is not limited to just students or teachers or the educational environment, but open to all people and all ages. The purpose of Dialogue E-Journaling is to assist people to improve their lives by exchanging “information” for the purpose of fun, friendship, and fulfillment. By connecting with one or a few close friends or associates, I anticipate many people can truly experience enhancements in their lives.


So, please join me as we explore this whole new concept of connecting.




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Dialogue E-Journaling- A new way to connect for purpose and fulfillment

I am shifting my emphasis somewhat on this blog to a new process I am calling “dialogue e-journaling, a new way to connect with a few people for fun, friendship and fulfillment. I want to apologize to my readers for my long absence from adding posts to this blog. We have been moving from Illinois to Kansas, and just recently have taken in my mom into our apartment serving as her caregiver. We still have boxes of stuff to unpack and parts of the apartment left to complete, but I intend to take time to restart regular blogging posts.

So, what do I mean by Dialogue E-Journaling? Journaling is usually described as a solitary activity, you and you alone write and read your journal entries. While this works for many people, I feel that there are many people who could benefit from sharing their journaling activity, hence the term “dialogue journaling”. Also this type of dialogue journaling can be most effectively done, on-line, over the internet, hence the term e-journaling, meaning “electronic” journaling. This can be done by email, or the many new journaling apps that have appeared in recent years for pesonal computers, tablets and even smartphones. I have rearranged the catagories in this blog to represent the chapters of a book that I want to write through this blog, so please use these to search for the appropriate kind of information you are looking for.

I feel this process of journaling by dialogue especially beneficial to the “boomer” generation (Born 1946 to 1964). This generation is now just approaching, or in retirement, and thus is losing many of their “contacts and relationships” in life, due to retirement, relocation after retirement, illnesses, going into assisted living or nursing homes, etc. So, they have a need to connect with others as their life circumstances change.

Let me first start by examining the “fulfillment” benefit of dialogue e-journaling. When I retired about 5 years ago, I began training to be a life coach. I completed classes on being a certified retirement coach, and for a couple of years taught a class on “career coaching”. Through this experiences, I saw the critical need of people to have a “vocation” in their life. When boomers retire, they need to replace their “work vocation” with something else in their lives in order to have some “fulfillment” or purpose in their life, some reason to go on living, a reason to get up in the morning. Last night, I attend a new bible study on “Christian Vocation”. It described a “vocation” to be excercised in relationships. In life, we have two kinds of relationships, one kind of relationship with our God, and another type of relationship with others. For those of us that are “Christian”, this means that we are in a relationship with God, in which God serves our neighbor through us. Hence, the end result of our “vocation” on this earth is meant to serve our neighbor. When we are “working” a day job, we do this by being a teacher, truck driver, etc. or take on roles of mother, father, provider, etc. But what happens when we “retire”, and the job disappears and the kids move away. Both my mom and my wife’s mom are in their 90’s. Almost all their friends have died and they live with other caregivers. They capabilities have diminished so that they have limited mobility. So, how do they “serve” their neighbor. The need some kind of relationship with others, just as they continue to need a relationship with their God. This is where I see the benefit of “dialogue e-journaling” to kick in. The generation of my mom did not enjoy and most have not embraced the technology of the internet. So, they are almost completely isolated from others, except for infrequent visits from their family. However for the “boomers” and subsequent generations, they are connected through the internet. They know and use technologies such as facebook, texting, smartphones, email, etc. So, as long as they have their mind intact, and can speak, (you don’t even need to be able to type, can use voice recognition software), they can stay connected through dialogue e-journaling. They continue to connect and have a dialogue with others on a regular basis, even if separated by distance. They can continue to “serve others’, to offer affirmation, sympathy, support and have a reason to get up in the morning.

So, dialogue e-journaling can be a way to continue your vocation into your retirement years, to connect with others in spite of distance and changes in life’s circumstances, a way to connect for purpose and fulfillment.

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